PROUD PAPA No. 1
"Here Comes The BPA!"
When it comes to Matthew and Caroline - my beloved kiddos - I yell too much. I fuss too much. I find myself barking out orders too much instead of going and showing them what it is I want them to do. Like many parents, I often second guess whether I'm too hard on them. My Dad was tough, but loving with me and figuring I turned out o.k., I reckoned a stern, loving hand would benefit my children as well. Like my father before me, I've tried to teach them that doing for others is an expectation, not a luxury and that there is no greater service than to do what you can do to help other people. Ginger and I am blessed to have great kids with loving hearts who, far more often than not, do the right thing. Even when nobody's looking. But the truth is, you just never know.
But I have to say, there haven't been very many weeks when I was prouder of Matthew than I was this week. First, a little back story. For the last three months, he has taken to Boy Scouts like a duck to water. He's read. He's studied. And he's learned about the virtues of helping others, being honorable and fulfilling the Scout Slogan of doing a good turn daily. I'm proud to say he takes his oath seriously.
Last week, one of Matthew's friends was the recipient of some pretty ugly bullying and name calling at school. Clearly upset, his friend responded with an off-the-cuff comment that maybe he should just kill himself. While I genuinely believe he didn't really mean what he said, it concerned those close to him including Matthew.
Flash forward to this weekend when half a dozen of Matthew's friends, both boys and girls, started calling our house looking for him, each leaving a message on the answering machine wanting to talk to him about something called the BPA. Completely unfamiliar with anything called the BPA, I asked Matthew to enlighten me - which he did.
While he was quick to share the credit (something else for which I was very proud), it turns out the BPA, aka the "Bully Prevention Agency," was a construction of Matthew's imagination now manifest in the movers and shakers of the 5th grade at Donald Elementary. The BPA is a matrix of boys and girls who have made a commitment (and taken an oath) to step up and confront bullies as a group whenever they see them. I sat, transfixed for almost an hour, as Matthew explained the undercover operation he and his other 10 friends had unleashed on the unexpecting bullies at school.
And so it was that at recess on Friday, "Hatman," "Mr. Serious," "Terminator," "Freckles," "Blondie," "Tall Person," "M," "Freaky," "V," "Ash," "PC," and their ringleader "Shorty" constructed a bait and trap scheme as perfectly choreographed as any episode of Scooby Doo. Every time the bully who had persecuted their friend the week before starting teasing, criticizing, or bullying another kid, 2 or 3 members of the BPA were there to stand up and call him out. When he yelled at them, 2 more came running. And then 2 more. And 2 more. And 3 more after that. By the end of the day, completely unsolicited, the aforementioned bully approached the boy he'd criticized the week before and apologized. At this point in the story, Matthew was beaming. But it was only the beginning.
As news has spread, more and more kids have stepped up saying they want to be a part of the BPA and yesterday, Matthew met with the school's principal to work on a statement he wants to make to the entire school telling everyone about the formation of the BPA and inviting other students to join. As he and the other 5th graders will be leaving in three weeks for Middle School, he understands the importance of getting others in the underclasses involved to carry the BPA forward when school starts up again in the Fall.
And so it is, that tomorrow at 8 a.m. during the Donald Elementary morning announcments, Matthew Tuggle will address a student body of nearly 600 with news of his creation and the power of good kids standing up for that which is right. It won't make the evening news. It won't make the papers. Other than this accounting here, it probably won't be recorded anywhere. And that's just fine. It's not why he did it in the first place.
Last night, Matthew had his first board of review for rank advancement at our Scout meeting. He'd done everything he needed to do to move up from the rank of Scout to Tenderfoot, and the last thing he had to do was meet with a panel of three adults for his final review. After asking him everything they wanted to ask, they turned to the Scout Slogan and asked Matthew one remaining question - "Did you do a good turn today?"
With a grin that stretched from ear to ear he answered, "As a matter of fact, I did."
That's my boy.
"Here Comes The BPA!"
When it comes to Matthew and Caroline - my beloved kiddos - I yell too much. I fuss too much. I find myself barking out orders too much instead of going and showing them what it is I want them to do. Like many parents, I often second guess whether I'm too hard on them. My Dad was tough, but loving with me and figuring I turned out o.k., I reckoned a stern, loving hand would benefit my children as well. Like my father before me, I've tried to teach them that doing for others is an expectation, not a luxury and that there is no greater service than to do what you can do to help other people. Ginger and I am blessed to have great kids with loving hearts who, far more often than not, do the right thing. Even when nobody's looking. But the truth is, you just never know.
But I have to say, there haven't been very many weeks when I was prouder of Matthew than I was this week. First, a little back story. For the last three months, he has taken to Boy Scouts like a duck to water. He's read. He's studied. And he's learned about the virtues of helping others, being honorable and fulfilling the Scout Slogan of doing a good turn daily. I'm proud to say he takes his oath seriously.
Last week, one of Matthew's friends was the recipient of some pretty ugly bullying and name calling at school. Clearly upset, his friend responded with an off-the-cuff comment that maybe he should just kill himself. While I genuinely believe he didn't really mean what he said, it concerned those close to him including Matthew.
Flash forward to this weekend when half a dozen of Matthew's friends, both boys and girls, started calling our house looking for him, each leaving a message on the answering machine wanting to talk to him about something called the BPA. Completely unfamiliar with anything called the BPA, I asked Matthew to enlighten me - which he did.
While he was quick to share the credit (something else for which I was very proud), it turns out the BPA, aka the "Bully Prevention Agency," was a construction of Matthew's imagination now manifest in the movers and shakers of the 5th grade at Donald Elementary. The BPA is a matrix of boys and girls who have made a commitment (and taken an oath) to step up and confront bullies as a group whenever they see them. I sat, transfixed for almost an hour, as Matthew explained the undercover operation he and his other 10 friends had unleashed on the unexpecting bullies at school.
And so it was that at recess on Friday, "Hatman," "Mr. Serious," "Terminator," "Freckles," "Blondie," "Tall Person," "M," "Freaky," "V," "Ash," "PC," and their ringleader "Shorty" constructed a bait and trap scheme as perfectly choreographed as any episode of Scooby Doo. Every time the bully who had persecuted their friend the week before starting teasing, criticizing, or bullying another kid, 2 or 3 members of the BPA were there to stand up and call him out. When he yelled at them, 2 more came running. And then 2 more. And 2 more. And 3 more after that. By the end of the day, completely unsolicited, the aforementioned bully approached the boy he'd criticized the week before and apologized. At this point in the story, Matthew was beaming. But it was only the beginning.
As news has spread, more and more kids have stepped up saying they want to be a part of the BPA and yesterday, Matthew met with the school's principal to work on a statement he wants to make to the entire school telling everyone about the formation of the BPA and inviting other students to join. As he and the other 5th graders will be leaving in three weeks for Middle School, he understands the importance of getting others in the underclasses involved to carry the BPA forward when school starts up again in the Fall.
And so it is, that tomorrow at 8 a.m. during the Donald Elementary morning announcments, Matthew Tuggle will address a student body of nearly 600 with news of his creation and the power of good kids standing up for that which is right. It won't make the evening news. It won't make the papers. Other than this accounting here, it probably won't be recorded anywhere. And that's just fine. It's not why he did it in the first place.
Last night, Matthew had his first board of review for rank advancement at our Scout meeting. He'd done everything he needed to do to move up from the rank of Scout to Tenderfoot, and the last thing he had to do was meet with a panel of three adults for his final review. After asking him everything they wanted to ask, they turned to the Scout Slogan and asked Matthew one remaining question - "Did you do a good turn today?"
With a grin that stretched from ear to ear he answered, "As a matter of fact, I did."
That's my boy.
posted by Michael Tuggle at 10:38 PM
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