THOUGHTFUL RAMBLING No. 19
"Sharing The Squeeze: Are Some Companies Too Greedy?"

With consumers being squeezed more than any time in recent memory, it seems companies are starting to wrestle with a very interesting question: what is the cost of doing the right thing? For the first time in a long time, it seems companies are beginning to consider whether not passing on rising costs to help customers save money is better for the long run than short term increases justified by the rising cost of everything.

Last Thursday, following its annual meeting in Oak Brook, Illinois, McDonald’s announced that despite the increasing prices of virtually everything, they will not pass those increases on to their customers and that their cornerstone dollar menu will stay intact. McDonald’s estimates its U.S. cheese costs alone will rise 13 to 14 percent this year, yet they appear ready to take the hit in profit rather than passing those costs on to people already struggling to maintain their frequency of visits. “Commodity costs are rising more than we have seen in a dozen years,” McDonald’s President Ralph Alvarez said at a news briefing after the meeting. “[But] in today’s environment, we can’t pass on all our costs.”

Contrast that attitude with the heads of the major oil companies who, during the last few weeks, have spent considerable time in front of Congress trying to explain why they’re showing record profits quarter after quarter, despite the fact that gasoline has risen 77 cents a gallon in four months and people are struggling at the pump. According to a report by the California Energy Commission, on a $4.09 branded gallon of gasoline, the breakdown looks like this:

Distribution, Marketing and Profit: 4 cents
Crude Oil Cost: $3.15
Refinery Cost and Profit: 23 cents
State Underground Storage Tank Fee: 1 cent
State and Local Sales Tax: 30 cents
State Excise Tax: 18 cents
Federal Excise Tax: 18 cents

While there are certainly a number of costs involved with converting crude oil to gasoline and getting it to the stations, we’ve yet to see a gas company agree to make $20 billion a quarter profit rather than $40 billion so they can pass on the savings. Of course they’re not the only companies making news for passing along the costs of doing business.

Last week, American Airlines announced a $15 fee for each first checked bag and a $25 fee for a second one, albeit, just so they can try to make their financial model work again. In reality, many companies are simply in a position where they have to raise prices just to make ends meet. But that makes McDonald’s decision last week, all the more interesting.

The question that remains is how will McDonald’s spin the information? Will we see a new TV campaign talking about how they’re making it easier on America? Will there be a big PR push to get the news out? And if so, does that “taking credit” diminish McDonald’s decision to do the right thing, or at very least, the helpful thing? Hard to say.

That will be up to their customers.

THOUGHTFUL RAMBLING No. 18
“Welcome To Tug Air”

Did you hear? Starting in June, American Airlines is going to charge $15 a bag for your FIRST piece of checked luggage. Not the second. Not the 17th. The First. Which makes them the first carrier to bite that bullet. No more cramming everything you own into that mini-condo you have to ask the two men behind you to lift onto the scale at check-in. Nope, now you’re gonna pay. Add to that the 11 fare increases by the major airlines since the beginning of the year, and well, you’ve got a lot of angry, frustrated air passengers looking for answers. Which is perfect for me. It means now is the perfect time to launch my newest and most exciting business venture.

Welcome to Tug Air!

Tired of paying $1,700 for a three hour flight because you didn’t know about Tuesday’s meeting 147 days ago? Tired of long security lines at the airport, the two-hour check-in rule and the Zip-lock bags for your 3 ounce tube of toothpaste they only seem to sell in Cinnamon? Well, fret no longer! Your airline has arrived.

When you buy your ticket on Tug Air, you’ll immediately notice a huge difference. For starters, every round trip ticket is three cents a mile no matter when you buy it or where you’re going. Flying from Dallas to Atlanta, that’s 1700 miles roundtrip which means your ticket will run $51. Flying from L.A. to London, the distance is roughly 10,900 miles roundtrip so your ticket would cost $327.

One caveat – at check in, you will be required to weigh in and a surcharge of one cent per pound will be added to your ticket. On average, it’s a modest cost and before you start whining about that rule being unfair to fat people, it’s not. A) They have the same opportunity to hit a treadmill as anyone else, B) they’re heavier and therefore use a higher percentage of fuel to keep their asses in the air, and C) life’s unfair. Get a helmet.

When you check in at Tug Air, our happy, cheerful gate attendants will scan your ticket and give you a special card with your personalized bar code on it. This card is very important because it will allow you to access all the incredible amenities we provide on all our planes. Think of it as a luxury cruise at 30,000 feet. Any time you want something, just scan your card and it will be yours. Don’t think about it now. We can always settle up later on the current up to date credit card you placed on file with us when you purchased your ticket.

To start with, every passenger on Tug Air is given a solid, structurally sound stadium seat to sit on during the flight, but for a mere $9, you can upgrade to a cushioned seat that’s guaranteed to keep your butt from falling asleep and can double as a flotation device in the chance we experience engine malfunction and by some miracle, happen to hit a body of water. If you’d like to play the odds and assume we’re going to hit land, for a reasonable $247, we also offer a seat that instantly turns into a bounce house on impact.

We have an incredible menu on Tug Air that varies by the day. On Mondays, Subway provides all of our meals. On Tuesday, it’s Burger King. Wednesday is chicken fried steak day courtesy of Cracker Barrel. Thursdays we kick it Asian style with Panda Express and on Fridays, we start the weekend off right with Hot Wings from Hooters served by the Hooters girls themselves (we give the flight attendants the day off on Friday!) If you’re hungry, just scan your card on the side of your seat closest to the aisle and a little light will come on signaling you’re ready to chow. Unlike the other airlines that now charge you a ridiculous $8 for a sandwich and $5 for a bag of chips, all the food and beverages on Tug Air are absolutely FREE! In fact we encourage you to drink large quantities while in flight. It helps to keep yourself hydrated.

That said, if you have to use the facilities (and you will with all the free drinks we provide you), we have a lovely, expanded space that won’t leave you feeling cramped and crowded. To get in, just scan your card outside the door and the lock will open. Once you’re finished and ready to exit the bathroom, a computer will weigh your output in cubic liters and charge your card accordingly. It’s only four cents per milliliter and besides, if you time it right, when you flush and the little flap opens up, you’ll get an incredible view of the St. Louis Arch, the Rocky Mountains or a big fluffy cloud. All at no additional cost.

Bored on a long flight? Not a problem. At Tug Air, our staff is dedicated to making sure you enjoy your flight from beginning to end. For $2, one of our flight attendants will happily bring you a movie of your choice to play in the DVD player on the back of the seat in front of you. For $11, they’ll come play a game with you like Scrabble, Uno or 7 card Stud. In First Class, Lap dances are available for $35, but only on flights after 9 p.m.

At Tug Air, we’re shaking things up and trying to look at air travel in a whole new way. We’re dedicated to offering America the lowest fares in the business! And then counting on its obsession with instant gratification to make up the difference. Come give us a try!

Tug Air. The Mile High Experience Without Getting Screwed.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME No. 5
"Too Many Baby Daddies"

Yesterday, I was driving up I-35, one of the major highways running through Dallas, and I saw a billboard that said, "Want to know if you're the father? Call 1-800-DNA blah, blah, blah." Seriously? And it's not the first board I've seen in Dallas with that message. Now, I don't know what paternity tests cost, but I do know billboards in those locations can run $4,000-$5,000 a month. Which begs the question, are there really so many people having indiscriminant pregnancies that it justifies $10,000 a month in advertising costs?

Outdoor is a broad reach, less targeted medium for the most part which means either A) the Paternity test company doesn't have anyone who understands demographics and targeted marketing, or B) there really are enough deadbeat love 'em and leave 'em fathers (or knocked up mothers) rolling up and down I-35 every day who need information about where they can answer the $64,000 question.

Don't know about you, but I find that sad and a little infuriating. Maybe we can convince them to do a package deal and throw in a free vasectomy with every paternity test!

YOU KNOW WHAT CHAPS MY BUTT No. 2
"Mr. Oblivious"

McDonalds. The DMV. The grocery store. Ever get stuck standing in line behind that guy who's completely oblivious to the fact that there are other people standing in line behind him while he tells the person at checkout his entire, freakin' life story?

This morning I had my annual physical and in preparation for the inevitable "sample," I drank a liter of water between my house and the office which is right next door to my doctor's office. My appointment was at 9 a.m., but by 8:15 I was pretty much ready to fill the cup. By 8:45 I was dying and decided to head over to my appointment a little early.

When I got there, Chatty Cathy was standing at the window sweet talking every nurse that walked by. He let everyone know where the cheapest gas was within a 10 mile radius by station. He talked about his wife's medications. All of them. And then he proceeded to ask about every symptom he's had since 1961. At one poinit the nurses asked the lady standing behind him and in front of me to come on back so they could check her in. Even that didn't phase him.

I totally wanted to yell at this guy "Hey Noah! There's gonna be a flood back here if you don't just Shut up!" Mercifully, he finally agreed on an appointment time and after another couple minutes of goodbyes, finally left. When I finally did get to the window, the look on my face must have been none too subtle. The nurse just pointed down the hall and said "second door on the left."

Probably good I didn't say anything to the guy. He'll probably end up in front of me at Walgreen's.

THE DEATH OF COMMON SENSE No. 4
"Want To Stop Global Warming? Eat A Steak."

Here's the deal.

I don't think we're doing everything we can to take care of the planet.
I don't think recycling is a complete waste of time.
And I don't think we should just throw our hands up and continue being a bitch to foreign oil.
I think looking out for our world is important. But if one more liberal beats me up about global warming, I'm gonna spontaneously combust.

Yesterday, some little 11-year-old tree hugger came up to me and started pounding me about the size of the carbon footprint I'm leaving. I was floored. So I fired back with the only thing I could think to say - "Go to bed Matthew!"

The truth is, I'm really just tired of taking the heat, literally and figuratively, for the cows. Have you seen what they're doing?

According to Cecil Adams, the Right Reverend of The Straight Dope, we know "animal methane presents a definite threat to the biota. In fact, research suggests that cows emit about 400 quarts' worth of burps every single day." Some argue that it's flatulence. Personally, I could care less. Any air being forced out of a cow is bound to be bad.

The numbers show that "18 percent of the greenhouse effect is caused by methane, putting it second on the list of offending gases behind carbon dioxide. Methane breaks down in the atmosphere to form carbon dioxide, ozone, and water, all of which absorb heat. The temperature of the atmosphere rises, the ice caps melt, and next thing you know you're pumping the Atlantic Ocean out of your basement."

Adams goes on to point out that there are several major sources of methane: "rice paddies, swamps and wetlands (methane-producing bacteria thrive in the underwater environment), mining and oil drilling, landfills, termites (although there's still some controversy on this one), "biomass burning" (notably in the Amazon rain forest), and animals. Ninety percent of animal methane is produced by ruminants (i.e., cud-chewers). These include sheep, goats, camels, water buffalo, and so on, but most of all cattle, of which the world has an estimated 1.2 billion."

You really want to do something to slow down global warming? Drive your SUV to DQ and eat a double cheeseburger.

Twenty years ago when I first met Ginger's little brother he was about six or seven and proceeded to tell me I shouldn't eat at McDonald's because they were killing the rain forest. Maybe so. But they're killin' a whole lot of flatulent cows too so let's just call it a wash, huh?

And while we're at it, let's give a little love to the fields in Southeast Asia. Rice paddies give off huge quantities of Methane and according to the International Rice Institute, global rice fields cover more than 600,000 square miles. That's an area six times as big as the U.K. What's next? Do I have to give up eating Jambalaya and Kung Pao Chicken?

Like I said, I know we can do better. But to figure out how, can we please stop with the hysteria and the telethons to save the Polar Bear?

They're pale. They could use a little sun.

TRUE GREATNESS No. 1
"The Greatest Home Run You've Never Seen"

A few weeks ago, Western Oregon's Sara Tucholsky hit her first career HR in a game against their arch rival - Central Washington. What happened next is one of the greatest examples of sportsmanship you will ever see. Recently, Mattew asked me what the definition of "Integrity" was. I told him it was doing the right think when nobody's looking.

Sometimes, the whole world is looking and you don't even know it.

Watch and enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jocw-oD2pgo&feature=email

THOUGHTFUL RAMBLING No. 17
"The Battle Rages For Share Of Life"

Last week, a friend of mine switched jobs and emailed me his information so we could stay in touch. He reminded me he was only a click away and then provided me with his Facebook address, Del.icio.us address, his Twitter info, his LinkedIn address, his Blog address, his AIM signin, his Google Talk IM info, his MSN IM info, his address for Yahoo Messenger, his email address and the number to his cell phone. Nowhere to be found, was his office phone number.

Oh yeah. The world is changing.

Maybe it’s just that we’re hearing about all the one-to-one media solutions rather than the one-to-many we’re so used to. But when you look at client spend, there certainly seems to be a shift on to explore other avenues to reach consumers.

Last week, I explored a site called Social Spark that professes to connect Bloggers and Advertisers, but it’s a lot more than that. You can add friends, email each other, give “props” to one another’s blogs and vote for each other in a good old fashioned “Battle of the Blogs.” Along the way, you can make a little money writing “sponsored blogs” and gain exposure for your own blog, but this is clearly social networking for the highly literate and those who refuse to buy the premise that people don’t read anymore. Interestingly, 90% of the people I’ve been in contact with since joining have at least one Graduate Degree.

Recently, a number of us have also worked to expand our groups on LinkedIn and have now grown our connections considerably. I'm up to 158 as of this morning - something I find pretty interesting. I’ve reconnected with college friends I haven’t talked to in 20 years. High School friends I haven’t seen in 25. I now know what my friends actually do for a living. And who they do it for. I’m connected to everyone from an entry level copywriter to a former NBA All-Star. Now all I have to figure out is what to do with all that information.

Never in the history of the world have there been so many ways to stay connected and to interact with the people you know. But it doesn’t stop there. Look at Second Life. eHarmony. Match.com. J-Date. Now, not only can you connect with everyone you know 100 different ways – you can connect with people you don’t know. Which begs one question.

Who has time for all this connecting?

Apparently, most of us. In this week’s Ad Age there’s a cover article that has Wall Street analysts predicting a drop in the amount of money invested in this year’s Up Front. Citing a “sputtering economy, credit crisis and looming recession,” they assert advertisers will cut back spending on TV and instead move it to “cheaper and more accountable media venues.” Hello Facebook. Hello MyYearbook.com. Hello every other “new” media solution promising the Holy Grail of interconnection.

Just this morning, Ad Age reported that 2007 Internet Revenue grew 26% to $21.2 Billion surpassing the spending of both Cable and Radio.

Oh yeah, the world is changing. And as it does, those of us in our business have to be ready to meet consumers where and when they want to meet.

Even if that’s at a virtual coffee shop in the IM corner of a Blackberry.

YOU KNOW WHAT CHAPS MY BUTT No. 1
"Drippy Drinks In The Drive-Through"

If I get one more drink in a Fast Food drive-through with Diet Coke dripping down the side, I may just chuck it through the window and ask for another one. It's not rocket science people. I've seen the cost sheet for restaurant supplies and a napkin costs about 1/9th of a cent. After you put the plastic cup under the fountain dispensing unit, hit the filling button to fill it with soda and put the little plastic lid on top of the cup - take a napkin and wipe the damn side of the cup, will ya?

I recognize that my crack-like addiction to Diet Coke makes me do ridiculous things like pay $2.69 for a drink that cost you 11 cents, but when I do, I expect a dry cup without dark, syrupy, soda dripping down the sides to make my hands gooey, my car sticky and my blood pressure in need of an Inderal chaser. I know you're trying to follow Ronald's speed of service guidelines, but feel free to take the extra 7 seconds you need to clean up my cup, o.k.?

POTUS No. 4
"Today Is A Warning"

This morning, citing a 1948 California Supreme Court decision that overturned a ban on interracial marriages, seven California Supreme Court justices struck down the state's 1977 one-man, one-woman marriage law, as well as a similar, voter-approved law that passed with 61 percent in 2000, thus greenlighting Gay marriage in the country's largest state.

While that decision is at the very least, a loaded one, as I see it, the key to the decision comes in the fact that the court ignored a law passed by more than six of every ten Californians. They completely ignored the will of the people and in its stead, put forth their own Liberal agenda.

"It's about human dignity. It's about human rights. It's about time in California," San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom told a roaring crowd at City Hall, pumping his fist in the air. "As California goes, so goes the rest of the nation. It's inevitable. This door's wide open now. It's going to happen, whether you like it or not." Pretty offensive language for the majority of Americans.

For many, this decision is all about Gay Marriage. For me, it's a harbinger of the potential storm that can come from a Supreme Court who believes imposing its will is more important that interpreting the Constitution. Truth be told, I could care less about the California Supereme Court. But the U.S. Supreme Court is a whole different matter.

As presently constructed, the United States Supreme Court is generally divided between the Liberal Justices (Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 75, John Paul Stevens, 88, David Souter, 69, and Stephen Breyer, 70), the Conservative Justices (Antonin Scalia, 72, Clarence Thomas, 60, Chief Justice John Roberts, 53, and Samuel Alito, 58) and one Conservative Leaning Moderate who is often the swing vote (Anthony Kennedy, 72).

By this time next year, five of the U.S. Supreme Court Justices will be over 70 years old and one will be nearly 90. Assuming the next President of the United States serves eight years, those numbers would balloon to three Justices over 80, and one nearing 100. In very plain terms, that means the next President of the United States will most likely have the opportunity to appoint three to four new Justices to the Supreme Court which could tip the balance of power for the next 30 to 40 years.

That, as much as anything else, is why the thought of Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama becoming the next President scares the Hell out of me. With a Liberal Congress, Liberal White House, and potentially, a Liberal Court, the concept of checks and balances goes completely out the window. You want more decisions like the one the California Supreme Court threw down today, but on a Federal level? Elect the Democrats. You want Liberal decisions on immigration, civil liberties, privacy and the like? Put Barack Obama in The White House.

Today is just a glimpse of what could be coming. We can't afford to ignore it and I pray we won't.

THOUGHTFUL RAMBLING No. 16
"The Greatest Ad Generation"

It’s not often that you have the opportunity to stand in the presence of greatness. But last night, I did.

Yesterday evening, in an intimate ceremony at the DeGolyer Library at Southern Methodist University, I got to stand with 100 of Liener Temerlin’s friends and family as the gift of his advertising papers were dedicated to SMU and to the Advertising Institute that bears his name.

For those who don't know Liener, he's a legend and the founder and namesake of an ad agency called Temerlin McClain Advertising that was once one of the three largest agencies in Dallas. At one time, Temerlin had more than 800 employees working on American Airlines, JCPenney, Suburu, Bank of America, Long John Silver's, GTE and a dozen others. I was both proud and fortunate to work there for almost six years.

Hung around the library last night were framed papers, pictures and artifacts from Liener’s distinguished 55-year career in advertising. I knew of his hosting Prince Charles on his trip to Dallas and the exquisite reception Liener planned for him. I knew of Liener’s close friendship with Ross Perot who was there last night, and his work on Mr. Perot’s Presidential bids. I knew that Liener had been inducted into the Advertising Hall of Fame. I did not know that in 1944, he was awarded the Bronze Star as a lieutenant in World War II.

After congratulatory and thankful remarks from the SMU leadership, Liener took the podium and in typical Temerlin fashion, made remarks that were brief, but riveting. At once witty, smart, inspiring and funny – the kind that makes you wish you had a pen and pad so you could write it all down. He started with a simple statement. “Mark Twain said it best,” he said. “If you see a turtle on a fencepost, you can be sure, he had help getting there.” Typical Liener to celebrate a 55-year legacy by doling out the credit to other people.

What struck me the most, was that through all the ups and downs, agency growth and buyouts from holding companies, now in the sunset of an amazing career, he remains the most optimistic person I know about advertising and the creative, strategic, hard-working people who create it. He said when he entered the profession – back when he spent 15 years as the writer partner to Stan Richards art director – advertising was at the bottom of a list of 100 most respected professions. I think Liener took that as a challenge and spent the rest of his life trying to turn that around.

While the Ad Age and Adweek covers were fun to see and the less celebrated papers fascinating, the bulk of Liener’s gift to SMU comes in a series of notebooks – nearly a dozen cabinets worth according to the introduction from Temerlin Institute Director, Dr. Patricia Alvey. 55 years worth of Liener’s notes, observations, business deals, conversations and oh yes, the pitches.

Liener Temerlin is famous for his pitches – though that’s a somewhat relative term. I remember starting at Temerlin McClain as a young writer and having a Creative Director tell me, “We really don’t pitch business. Liener gets a meeting, the door shuts, and he walks out with the business.” In most cases, pretty true. The Temerlin pitch for the American Airlines business alone is the stuff of legend, though I’ve never had the privilege of hearing all the details. Now, we will all have that chance. This fall, once catalogued, all of Liener’s notebooks will be available for reading at the DeGolyer library and you can be sure, they will be a popular attraction.

I had the privilege of working very closely with Liener on a big project that lasted for about four months during my tenure at his agency and it will forever remain one of the best and most rewarding opportunities of my career. There is no one in the business I respect more and if he asked me, I think I’d follow the man into Hell.

That said, for now, I think I’ll just head over to SMU.

PROUD PAPA No. 1
"Here Comes The BPA!"

When it comes to Matthew and Caroline - my beloved kiddos - I yell too much. I fuss too much. I find myself barking out orders too much instead of going and showing them what it is I want them to do. Like many parents, I often second guess whether I'm too hard on them. My Dad was tough, but loving with me and figuring I turned out o.k., I reckoned a stern, loving hand would benefit my children as well. Like my father before me, I've tried to teach them that doing for others is an expectation, not a luxury and that there is no greater service than to do what you can do to help other people. Ginger and I am blessed to have great kids with loving hearts who, far more often than not, do the right thing. Even when nobody's looking. But the truth is, you just never know.

But I have to say, there haven't been very many weeks when I was prouder of Matthew than I was this week. First, a little back story. For the last three months, he has taken to Boy Scouts like a duck to water. He's read. He's studied. And he's learned about the virtues of helping others, being honorable and fulfilling the Scout Slogan of doing a good turn daily. I'm proud to say he takes his oath seriously.

Last week, one of Matthew's friends was the recipient of some pretty ugly bullying and name calling at school. Clearly upset, his friend responded with an off-the-cuff comment that maybe he should just kill himself. While I genuinely believe he didn't really mean what he said, it concerned those close to him including Matthew.

Flash forward to this weekend when half a dozen of Matthew's friends, both boys and girls, started calling our house looking for him, each leaving a message on the answering machine wanting to talk to him about something called the BPA. Completely unfamiliar with anything called the BPA, I asked Matthew to enlighten me - which he did.

While he was quick to share the credit (something else for which I was very proud), it turns out the BPA, aka the "Bully Prevention Agency," was a construction of Matthew's imagination now manifest in the movers and shakers of the 5th grade at Donald Elementary. The BPA is a matrix of boys and girls who have made a commitment (and taken an oath) to step up and confront bullies as a group whenever they see them. I sat, transfixed for almost an hour, as Matthew explained the undercover operation he and his other 10 friends had unleashed on the unexpecting bullies at school.

And so it was that at recess on Friday, "Hatman," "Mr. Serious," "Terminator," "Freckles," "Blondie," "Tall Person," "M," "Freaky," "V," "Ash," "PC," and their ringleader "Shorty" constructed a bait and trap scheme as perfectly choreographed as any episode of Scooby Doo. Every time the bully who had persecuted their friend the week before starting teasing, criticizing, or bullying another kid, 2 or 3 members of the BPA were there to stand up and call him out. When he yelled at them, 2 more came running. And then 2 more. And 2 more. And 3 more after that. By the end of the day, completely unsolicited, the aforementioned bully approached the boy he'd criticized the week before and apologized. At this point in the story, Matthew was beaming. But it was only the beginning.

As news has spread, more and more kids have stepped up saying they want to be a part of the BPA and yesterday, Matthew met with the school's principal to work on a statement he wants to make to the entire school telling everyone about the formation of the BPA and inviting other students to join. As he and the other 5th graders will be leaving in three weeks for Middle School, he understands the importance of getting others in the underclasses involved to carry the BPA forward when school starts up again in the Fall.

And so it is, that tomorrow at 8 a.m. during the Donald Elementary morning announcments, Matthew Tuggle will address a student body of nearly 600 with news of his creation and the power of good kids standing up for that which is right. It won't make the evening news. It won't make the papers. Other than this accounting here, it probably won't be recorded anywhere. And that's just fine. It's not why he did it in the first place.

Last night, Matthew had his first board of review for rank advancement at our Scout meeting. He'd done everything he needed to do to move up from the rank of Scout to Tenderfoot, and the last thing he had to do was meet with a panel of three adults for his final review. After asking him everything they wanted to ask, they turned to the Scout Slogan and asked Matthew one remaining question - "Did you do a good turn today?"

With a grin that stretched from ear to ear he answered, "As a matter of fact, I did."

That's my boy.

THOUGHTFUL RAMBLING No. 15
"It Ain't Ozzie and Harriet"

Watch network TV any night of the week and it's hard to believe that just a few generations ago, the sexiest it ever got was seeing Lucy and Ricky in separate twin beds. Granted, that was the 1950s when "Leave It To Beaver" and "Father Knows Best" framed our moral conscience and "My Three Sons" and "Family Affair: were as disfunctional as a family situation got, but somewhere between now and then, I truly fear we've lost our way. I fear in our rush to show families as they could be, we've forgotten in large part, to show how many families in America really are. In our zealous chase to push the boundaries of free expression, I think we've lost perspective on whether there's value of what's being expressed.

Now, lest anyone accuse me of being a priggish, fundamentalist, conservative, close minded, right wing prude, I unequivocably believe in free speech and value the diversity of what's shown on television . And while I do think there is more than enough room for alternative views of family, sexuality and relationships on TV, that doesn't mean I need to see every sexual proclivity played out in living color at 8 o'clock on a Thursday night. Is it me, or do we have just about all the sexual deviance we need in Prime Time?

Did you watch TV last week? After a "Grey's Anatomy" story line that had two burly soldiers playing tonsil hockey before one headed into brain surgery and an "ER" story line dealing with a transsexual, we had Sunday night's blessed union...uh commitment ceremony... uh wedding between Kevin and Scottie on "Brothers & Sisters." Honestly, that, I was fine with. Admittedly, two guys grabbing the backs of each other's heads and tongue dancing is not my cup of tea. But, I acknowledge that there is a significant percentage of America who finds that not just normal, but pretty everyday stuff. What sent me over the edge, was a commercial I caught on CBS for a new show breaking this summer called "Swingtown."

Apparently producer Mike Kelley didn't manage to push the prime time sexual boundaries far enough with "One Tree Hill" and "The O.C." So now, he's unleashing "Swingtown" a voyeuristic peek into the shag-carpeted suburban homes of the 1970s where we see couples reveling in the sexual and social revolution that introduced open marriages, key parties and challenged many of the long-held conventional wisdoms about fidelity, commitment and morality. You know, those prudish cornerstones that once built strong families and made America the greatest nation on earth.

I recognize to many people this all sounds highly intolerant. And yes, I realize that I can turn the channel. But I think this is bigger than that. Good or bad, when a TV series like "Swingtown" gets the green light, it begins to legitimize the sexual fringe as something that's totally normal. And while yes, I can control whether my 10 and 6-year-old kids watch the program, I have zero control over when CBS decides to run the promo for the new series as they did this weekend when, yes, my kids were in the room. Will it scar them forever? No. Do I want to explain the sexual dynamics of a three-way to my kindergartner? Hell no.

Call me old fashioned but I miss the innuendo of "The Honeymooners," "Happy Days," "Cheers," "Friends," "Frasier," "Mad About You," "Seinfeld" and "Will & Grace." A picture in graphic detail may be worth a thousand words, but for my money, give me the good old double entendre every time.

Oh, gotta go. Fantasy Hookups 2 is about to come on.

THOUGHTFUL RAMBLING No. 14
"Forget the World Series of Poker. The Serious Gambling Started Last Weekend."

It’s now become a rite of summer just like going swimming, shooting fireworks and eating Watermelon. With last weekend’s release of “Iron Man” starring Robert Downey Jr., Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrance Howard, the summer blockbuster movie season is officially under way. And with it, the barrage of corporate tie-ins that are guaranteed to follow.

“Iron Man” got things off to a healthy start this weekend earning $100.8 million in its first three days of release and featuring, among other things, an action sequence with Robert Downey Jr. taking the new Audi R8 for a 100 mph spin through winding roads and ultimately pulling to an immediate stop as the car comes directly into lens, perfectly framing the Audi logo on the front hood. From last summer’s GM lovefest in “Transformers” to James Bond’s finicky preference for Astin-Martins and BMWs, “Iron Man” continues the long standing affair between action hero and hot new sports car. But that’s only where it begins.

During the brisk 2:06 of “Iron Man” we also discover that hero Tony Stark (Downey Jr.) has a love for Burger King Cheeseburgers. Apparently the first thing one wants after three months in captivity at the hand of Islamic terrorists. He utilizes Dell servers that pull off unbelievable 3D holographic imaging. He utilizes an LG phone that gets perfect reception anywhere. And he even serves up magazines of interest including Vanity Fair and Rolling Stone.

It used to be that brands would pick one movie to invest in, or one movie to support in store. This summer, Burger King will tie into three including “Iron Man,” “Incredible Hulk” and “Indiana Jones And the Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull” which will inspire the Indy Double Whopper in store. On the heels of today’s news that BK was up 5.4% in the last quarter, summer tie-ins could make for a monster year for the number two hamburger chain. But then again, tie-ins can be tricky.

With “Speed Racer,” “The Chronicles of Narnia: Price Caspian,” “Indiana Jones,” “Kung-Fu Panda,” “Hancock,” “Incredible Hulk,” “Wall-E,” “The Happening,” “Love Guru,” “The Dark Knight,” “Sex and the City” and “Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” all on the docket, how much attention can each possibly get? Enough to justify millions in placement, endorsement and promotion? We’ll see.

In a summer when getting to the movie theatre could cost as much as the ticket itself, companies may find a DVD endorsement was the better play.

POTUS No. 3
"I Was Wrong About Hillary Clinton "

For the last four months, I've been convinced Hillary Clinton was channeling the Marquis de Merteuil. You remember her. The conniving, controlling, manipulative high society Madame Glenn Close played to perfection in the movie "Dangerous Liaisons."

Throughout the film, the aging, worldly Marquis plays man against man, woman against woman, young against old and wealthy against working class in a behind the scenes effort to control high society. When criticized, she cries, gaining momentary sympathy, only to come back more vicious and more determined to destroy anyone crossing her path. She plots, she manipulates, she lies, and in the end, she kills the one thing she loves most leaving her miserable, shunned and totally exposed.

It seems to me, that pretty much accounted for the Clinton campaign since the beginning of the year. But something changed about three weeks ago, and even more on Tuesday with Barack Obama's 12 point victory in North Carolina and narrow loss in Indiana. Finally, it seems he's all but sewed up the Democratic nomination. The Hillary Clinton I thought I knew, changed. And now, I realize I was wrong about Hillary. She's not the Marquis de Merteuil. She's Norma Desmond from "Sunset Boulevard." You remember her. The wide-eyed, former silent film star who insisted she was still a star while the rest of the world passed her by.

Yesterday, amid increasing pressure to get out of the Presidential race for the good of the Democratic party, the Clintons decided instead to not only stay in, but spend their time lobbying superdelegates with innuendo of Obama bombshells coming in October and Barack's lack of electability. Like Norma Desmond at her disallusioned best, Hillary stands, demanding her close up, while Bill, like Norma's Butler Max, scurries around in the background, acting indignant and doing everything he can think of to find a way to take the nomination away from the man who has earned it.

Like the rest of the country, I'm tired of it. But then who am I to complain? As a card-carrying Republican I'm enjoying the circus. I'm just ready to get the clowns out of the ring and move on to the second act.

POTUS No. 2
"There's A Storm Coming"

For the past six weeks or so, I've noticed a strange tonality in the voices of the political pundits, elected Democrats and talk show hosts regarding the Democratic National Convention and whether or not Hillary Clinton can still receive her party's nomination for the Presidential General Election. It's a cautious, disbelieving tone they all speak with, but one genuine enough to be taken seriously. The inquiries come in various forms, but ultimately, they all ask the same fundamental question - If Barack Obama gets to the convention with more wins, more delegates, more states and a greater percentage of the general population, can Hillary still walk away from Denver as the Democratic nominee for President? Incredibly, the answer I continue to hear, is Yes.

Forget what you know of race relations in our country. Forget everything you've heard from Reverend Jeremiah Wright over the past month. Forget about everything you know of Rosa Parks, Malcolm X and Martin Luther King. If Barack Obama goes to the Democratic National Convention in Denver with more wins, more delegates, more states and a greater percentage of vote from the general population, and doesn't get his parties nomination, it's gonna make the OJ Simpson trial and the Rodney King riots look like a tea party.

From the beginning of his ascent into National politics, everyone has wanted to make Barack Obama's race a big deal. Everyone it seems, except him. He genuinely says he wants to unite our country. Not divide it. He wants hope for all people. Not just those with the same skin color or background that he has. And while I do think being black, or even half black, helps give him his identity, helps frame him dreams and vision for this country, helps him connect with a part of the electorate that may have felt forgotten or left out, I do not believe in his eyes, it is what defines him. Even though, should he win in November, the headlines will read "America elects first Black President."

I am not a supporter of Barack Obama. I think at heart he's a very good man, an incredible speaker and has navigated the trevails that come with 24/7 press coverage pretty well. Ultimately, we have very different ideas about what's most important for America and how those ideas should be paid for. In the end, I don't think he has the experience we need to best deal with the issues staring us down right now, but that has everything to do with ideology and not one iota to do with pigmentation. Unfortunately for Barack, that's not the case even within his own camp.

This past week, Obama distanced himself from his pastor of 20 years because of the offensive remarks Reverend Wright made regarding America and its goverment. It's one thing to say the American government created AIDS to wipe out minority communities when you're talking to a congregation of 42. It's quite another to spout that kind of incendiary rhetoric when your pulpit is CNN.

Sadly, it shouldn't come as any shock that Jeremiah Wright would say these types of things, or torpedo Obama's campaign whether intentionally or not. For men like Jeremiah Wright, there is no glory in reconciliation. There is no redemption in equality. No money in the cure. As long as racism exists, he has a voice, even if it's his voice that's propogating it. Even Michelle Obama has an anger and grudge to her voice that can't be ignored.

Barack Obama, while acknowledging the past transgressions of slavery, racial inequality and civil violation, has stood up with a resounding voice, an articulate voice, a reasonable, righteous, hopeful voice that just happens to be coming from an African-American face, and has said let's move past the actions of the 1860s. Let's navigate our way beyond the segregation of the 1960s and together, let's find a better way. Not just for blacks. Or Mexicans. Or Asians. Or whoever. Let's find a better way for all people. For all Americans. It's a compelling ideal. One that very well may take him all the way to the White House.

As I said, while I have the utmost respect for Senator Obama, he's not my guy. Ultimately, I think he would give John McCain a much tougher race in November than would Hillary Clinton. That remains to be seen. My only hope for Mr. Obama, and frankly for our country, is that when all votes have been cast and all the voices have been heard, the Democratic party affords him the chance to represent his party and put the vote to the people.

He's earned it.